What Women Want... Inverleven 1991

Living with girls is always a challenge, scratch that, it’s a war. That’s why I didn’t write: ‘Living with the fairer sex,’ because that implies there is balance. Those of us who abide with them will know that it is a battle hard fought. I have drawn my battle lines carefully: I have a one-cushion-on-the-sofa-only policy; I have set fire to two throws; and I have a blanket ban on pink bed sheets (no pun intended). However these trenches that I have dug have easily been flanked, I have had discussions on the technical differences between a cushion and a pillow, skirmishes on the distinction between a throw and a quilt and I have engaged in heavy artillery fire over the similarity of pink and magenta. Furthermore there is a calculated campaign of psychological warfare being launched simultaneously. I start to doubt myself, is the smell of beer, dust and trench foot really better than flowers and cleanliness? I tell myself it is yet I still put the loo seat down.

This is not to suggest that the war is lost, I have made noticeable gains. Notably at the Battle of Tea-Pot Pass (I refuse to drink tea, it all tastes like stale water, even if my girlfriend has two dozen boxes of so-called different flavours) and again victory at the Fall of the Vindaloo Embargo. Of course I have been to the UN over these human rights atrocities and over the others; such as being forced to put things back in their place at gunpoint (okay not gunpoint but her eye was twitching) and worst of all being coerced into the ‘girly day’ where my face was plastered with a clay-and-pumice mask, and my nails varnished.

So where does this leave me? With one final bastion. Whisky remains the source of my power it is with whisky that I can fortify my troops, while drinking it plan my advances and I have even got my girlfriend drinking it. Whisky represents the dugout from which I will launch my retaliation. Except for one problem, I have found a whisky that is taking on the characteristics of the bath bombs that fall about my position… and I like it.

Inverleven 1991
40% - Bottled in 2010 by Gordon & MacPhail
Nose: Heather and flowers combine with caramel and summer fruits to create a potpourri essence with further notes of biscuit and lavender and a touch of orange.
Palate: Intense parma violet sweets with a light mouth feel and just a smidgeon of sherry.
Finish: A burst of red fruits with that parma violet character coming through again and maybe a touch too short?
Overall: A very floral Lowland whisky from a closed distillery. The nose was fascinating reminding me of floral heather in the summertime and the flavour was immensely drinkable. If the battle of the sexes is leading us here then I am willing to admit defeat. I might even get Ellen to review this whisky tomorrow (although bizarrely she likes big smoky whiskies defying any notion of effeminate drams).

Sláinte!